Friday, January 30, 2009

Medicine for anger!

"The strong man is not the one who can wrestle (fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of anger."
[Sahih al-Bukhari]

When Prophet Muhammad Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam became angry at someone else's wrong actions or disbeliefs, he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam never expressed it with his hand or tongue. His companions knew that he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was angry by looking at his blessed face, which would be red and with some sweat on his forehead, and he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam would keep quiet for a moment, trying to control himself.

Once a couple went to Prophet Muhammad Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam and said, We have been fighting each other for many years. Each time she says something to hurt my feelings, I become angry, and then I fight back and this fight comes to such a degree that I am afraid that this verbal fight may, become physical, or we may end up divorced. So please advise how we can control our anger.
He told the husband that when your wife provokes you and makes you angry, take a sip of your water in your mouth and do not swallow it or spit it out, but keep it there until she has calmed down.
Well, he practiced that and a few months later, he reported back that it did work.


Since we believe that anger is an expression of satanic control, we must not let this control take over. The Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam has advised us to say, "During anger, I seek refuge from Satan in protection of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala."


He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam also advised us that when angry, that one should sit down or lie down as it is not easy to hit someone else in those positions. Obviously, the best remedy is to think about Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and ask yourself a question, "are you in control of yourself, or would you allow Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to take control of you?" Think of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala's anger and punishment. Is Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala's wrath less than your wrath? And what happens when He expresses His wrath? We humans who seek forgiveness from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala must forgive others first.

When one forgive someone else, it establishes peace and tranquility in one's heart, but at the same time, the matter of injustice or wrong actions which made one angry, become a dispute between him and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and if one do not take revenge and forgive, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala might act on ones behalf.

The first attribute of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala that Muslims are reminded (of) is Ar Rahman-Ar Rahim that is, The Most Kind and Most Merciful. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has said, "My mercy overtakes my wrath", and in one of the hadith Qudsi , 'O son of Adam, when you get angry, remember Me."

One can also turn and pray to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to take control of the situation and the person or the people who have caused His anger. We must also think that tone life so dear to us, is a temporary life, and we must not forget our death and destroy the life of eternity at the cost of this life. Washing one's face with cold water or taking a cold shower is also helpful.

May we all act upon the sunnah of our Sarkare do alam Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam and keep our anger at bay inshAllah azzawajal

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