Prophet Muhammad (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) personifies the roles of perfect father and husband. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was so kind and tolerant with his wives that they could not envisage their lives without him, nor did they want to live away from him. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam married Sawdah Radi Allahu anha, his second wife, while in Makkah. After a while, he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam wanted to divorce her for certain reasons. She was extremely upset at this news and implored him, "O Messenger of Allah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam, I wish no worldly thing of you. I will sacrifice the time allocated to me if you don't want to visit me. But please don't deprive me of being your wife. I want to go to the hereafter as your wife. I care for nothing else"
[Muslim].
The Messenger (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) did not divorce her, nor did he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam stop visiting her. Once he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam noticed that Hafsah Radi Allahu anha was uncomfortable over their financial situation. "If she wishes, I may set her free," he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam said, or something to that effect. This suggestion so alarmed her that she requested mediators to persuade him not to do so. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam kept his faithful friend's daughter as his trusted wife.
Separation Calamity
All of his wives viewed separation from the Messenger of Allah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam as a calamity, so firmly had he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam established himself in their hearts. They were completely at one with him. They shared in his blessed, mild, and natural life. If he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam had left them, they would have died of despair. If he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam had divorced one of them, she would have waited at his doorstep until the Last Day.
After his death, there was much yearning and a great deal of grief. Abu Bakr Radi Allahu anhu and Umar Radi Allahu anhu found the Messenger's Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam wives weeping whenever they visited them. Their weeping seemed to continue for the rest of their lives. Prophet Muhammad Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam left an everlasting impression on everyone. At one point, he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam had nine wives and dealt equally with all of them and without any serious problems. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was a kind and gentle husband, and never behaved harshly or rudely. In short, he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was the perfect husband.
Each of his wives thought that she was his most beloved. A few days before his death, he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam said, "A servant has been allowed to choose this world or his Lord. He chose his Lord" [sahih all-Bukhari]. Abu Bakr, Radi Allahu anhu intelligent and smart, began to cry, understanding that the Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was talking about himself. His illness got worse daily, and his severe headache caused him to writhe in pain. But even during this difficult period, he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam continued to treat his wives with kindness and gentleness. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam asked for permission to stay in one room, as he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam had no strength to visit them one by one. His wives agreed, and the Messenger Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam spent his last days in A'isha's Radi Allahu anha room.
to be conitnued.. InshaAllah Azwajal..
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The Ideal Husband
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Daily Milaad-un-Nabi Ijtima's in Madeenah Nagar
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
ASALATU WASALAMU ALAYKA YA RASULLALLAH Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa SallamAssalamu Alaikum
Madina inshaAllah azzawajal once again daily Milaad-un-Nabi Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam:durood ijtima's for islamic sisters will be taking place all this month of Rabbi-ul-Noor shareef in Jamia Masjid Kanzul Imaan, Madeenah Nagar.. inshaAllah azzawajal!Mon - ThursTime: 10am - 12pmAll islamic sisters welcome to attend.
Islamic Sisters Ijtiams and more
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
50 signs of qayamat
Past:Splitting of the Moon.Death of the Prophet Muhammad, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.A form of death which will kill thousands of Muslims. (Understood to refer to the plague of Amwas during the caliphate of ? '±Umar ibn al-Khattab.) A major fighting in Madinah (understood to refer to the battle of al-Harrahduring the caliphate of Yazid, 63 AH).The Muslim conquest of Jerusalem.The Muslim conquest of Constantinople.Two large groups of Muslims will fight in war.A war between the Muslims and a reddish people with small eyes, wearing sandals made of hair (understood to refer to the Mongol Tatar invasion of the Islamic lands.) A peace agreement between the Muslims and non-Muslims from the yellow race (Chinese, Mongols, etc.) Thirty impostors (dajjal) will appear, each thinking he is a prophet.Present:Naked, destitute, barefoot shepherds will compete in building tall buildings.The slave-woman will give birth to her master or mistress.A trial (fitnah) which will enter every Arab household.Knowledge will be taken away (by the death of people of knowledge), and ignorance will prevail.Wine (intoxicants, alcohol) will be drunk in great quantities.Illegal s3x will become widespread.Earthquakes will increase.Time will pass more quickly.Tribulations (fitan) will prevail.Bloodshed will increase.A man will pass by the grave of another and wish he was in the latter? '²s place.Trustworthiness will be lost, i.e. when authority is given to those who do not deserve it.People will gather for prayer, but will be unable to find an imam to lead them.Future:The number of men will decrease, whilst the number of women will increase, until for every man there are 50 women.The Euphrates will reveal a treasure of gold, and many will die fighting over it, each one hoping to be the one who gains the treasure.The Romans (Europeans) will come to a place called Amaq or Wabiq, and an army of the best people will go forth from Madinah to face them.The Muslim conquest of Rome.The Mahdi (guided one) will appear, and be the Imam of the Muslims.Jesus Christ will descend in Damascus, and pray behind the Mahdi.Jesus will break the cross and kill the swine, i.e. destroy the false christianity.The Antichrist (al-masih al-dajjal, the false christ) will appear, with allhis tools of deception, and be an immense trial. He will be followed by 70,000 Jews from Isfahan (present-day Iran).The appearance of Yajuj and Majuj (Gog and Magog), and the associated tribulations.The emergence of the Beast from the Earth, carrying the Staff of Moses and the Seal of Solomon, who will speak to the people, telling them they did not believe with certainty in the Divine Signs.A major war between the Muslims (including Jews and Christians who truly believe in Jesus after his return) led by the Imam Mahdi, and the Jews plusother non-Muslims led by the Antichrist.Jesus will kill the Antichrist at the gate of Ludd (Lod in present-day Israel, site of an airport and a major Israeli military base).A time of great peace and serenity during and after the remaining lifetime of Jesus.Wealth will come so abundant that it will become difficult to find someone to accept charity.Arabia will become a land of gardens and rivers.Society will then decay.The buttocks of the women of the tribe of Daws will again sway in circumambulation (tawaf) around the idol Dhul-Khulsah.A great fire in the Hijaz, seen by the inhabitants of Busra.Three major armies will sink into the earth: one in the east, one in the west, one in Arabia.An Abyssinian leader with thin shins will destroy the Kabah.The huge cloud of smoke.The sun will rise from the west (its place of setting).A gentle wind which will take the souls of the believers.There is no-one left on the earth saying, "Allah, Allah" or "There is no god except Allah."Eventually the Day of Judgment is established upon the worst of the people,who copulate like donkeys in public.The blowing in the Trumpet by the Angel Israfil, upon which everyone will faint except as Allah wills.The second blowing in the Trumpet, upon which everyone will be resurrected.
www.faizaneraza.org
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Women and Loud Voices!
Women reciting Naat Shareef in such a loud voice that a (foreign)ajnabee can hear them is a severe offense and is a sin (Haraam)It is impermissible for ajnabee men to hear the voice of a ajnabee woman. While performing Namaaz, if a man wants to stop someone from passing before him he should say ''Subhanallah!''. However, if a woman wishes to so, she shouldnt say this but hit the back of her left hand with her right hand instead. This explains that in Namaaz, even in a situation of need, a woman should make her voice audible. Similarly, reciting Naat Shareef with music and the loud voice of women in Milaad Shareef gatherings is a big sin. Music itself is Haraam and utterly vain. Using it with Naat recitation, which is an act of worship, is even a greater sin. If any gathering of Milaad Shareef has these incorrect practices, they should be done away with. However, the Milaad Shareef shouldnt be abandoned. If a woman recites the Quraan Shareef in a loud voice or if recitation is made with music, these vices should be stopped, not the recitation (because that is an act of worship).May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala forgive us all for rasing our voices, Ameen!May we all strive to benefit from this, Ameen!
Seerat e Umar Bin Abdul Aziz - (1of12)
Seerat e Hazrat Umar Bin Abdul Aziz (Radi Allahu Anhu) Speech given by Nigran-e-Shura Hazrat-e-Maulana Muhammad Hajji Imran Attari (Sallamahul Baari) Speech given On Sunday 8th February 2009 also for islamic sister weekly ijtiama at 2.30 every week
http://videos.faizaneraza.org/category/18/page/1
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Islami behno key madani tarbiyati phool Tarbayati Ijtima
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
ASALATU WASALAMU ALAYKA YA RASULLALLAH Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam
Islami behno key madani tarbiyati phool Tarbayati Ijtima
by Haji Imran Attari(Damat Barakatuhumul Aaliya)
Part-1
http://faizaneraza.org/audio/bayanat/TarbyatiIjtima.mp3
Part-2
http://faizaneraza.org/audio/bayanat/Tarbyati-2.mp3
Ten Sicknesses of the Heart
1. You believe in the existance of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala but you do not fulfil His Commands.
2. You say you love the Prophet Mohammed Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam but you do not follow his Sunnah.
3. You read the Qur'an but you do not put it into practice.
4. You enjoy all the benefits from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala but you are not grateful to him.
5. You acknowledge Shaitan as your enemy but you do not go against him
.6. You want to enter Paradise but you do not work for it.
7. You do not want to be thrown into Hell-Fire but you do not try to run away from it.
8. You believe that every living-thing will face death but you do not prepare for it.
9. You gossip and find faults in others but you forget your own faults and habits.
10. You bury the Dead but you do not take a lesson from it.
http://www.faizaneraza.org
The Wit of a Wise Woman
A group of men once visited Rabi¡¦ah Basriyah Radi Allahu anhato test her to see if she would make an unguarded comment. ¡§All the virtues have been scattered upon the heads of men,¡¨ they said. ¡§The crown of prophethood has been placed on the heads of men. The belt of nobility has been fastened around the waists of men. No women has ever been a prophet.¡¨¡§All that is true,¡¨ she replied. ¡§But egotism, worshiping one¡¦s self, and ¡§I am your Lord, the Most High¡¨ have never sprung from a woman¡¦s breast. All these things have been the specialty of men.¡¨-Tazkirah Al-Awliyaa¡¦
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Benefits of Patience
The Beloved Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam said: “Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn that his sins are removed for him.” {Imams Bukhari and Muslim}
Some of the Benefits of Patience:
We should recognize that there are many benefits of patience. A person will benefit from patience in this life and/or the hereafter. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says in the Noble Qur'an, what could be translated as, “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.” (Verse 10) surat Az-Zumar.
Here are some of the benefits of patience:
*Patience keeps you from getting bored during serious activities that require continuous energy and time. *Patience keeps you from rushing on tasks that require much time. *Patience controls you during times of anger and prevents you from committing wrong verbal or physical acts. *Patience controls you during conditions of fear and prevents you from committing wrong verbal or physical acts. *Patience controls you from greediness and prevents you from committing wrong verbal or physical acts. *Patience controls you from following your own desires. *Patience prepares you to withstand physical or psychological hardship when it is required. *Practicing patience is proof of the completion of faith and it is a good practice of Islam. *Practicing patience gives you guidance in your heart. *Practicing patience will lead you to being loved by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala his Rasool Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam and the people. *Practicing patience is required in positions of power and authority. *Practicing patience will make a person enter Paradise and it will save him from the hellfire. *Practicing patience will always keep you under the protection and care of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala *Practicing patience will protect you from the fear on the Day of Judgment. *Practicing patience will lead you to die as a good Muslim. *Finally, Practicing patience will give you the blessings and mercy of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala
http://www.faizaneraza.org
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Jealous Of The Pious!
One time shaitaan came to Hazrat Nooh alaihis salaam and said, "I want to repay a favour that you did for me." Hazrat Nooh alaihis salaam said, "O rejected one, I never even let you close to me, how could I have done you any favour?"
Shaitaan said, "By asking for your disobedient nation to be drowned, you have saved me from future calamities. You have saved me the trouble of struggling for ways to make them disobedient. In return for that I want to give you some advice, that save yourselves from being jealous of pious people. I was destroyed because I was jealous of Hazrat Adam alaihis salaam, and I became the first one to enter Hell. I could not stand his excellence and his status and refused to bow in front of him and therefore became cursed and rejected." (True Narrative, Nuzhatul Majaalis)
Sometimes the enemy speaks the truth as well. Shaitaan was jealous of Hazrat Adam alaihis salaam and for this Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala rejected his worship, rejected his praises and rosaries that he had said, did not look at the fact that he had taught the Angels. The result of his jealousy at the status that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala had given Hazrat Adam alaihis salaam was that he was rejected and cursed forever. This shows us that jealousy is such a great sin that it destroys all the good that a person may have done and makes a person destined for hell. May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala save us all from jealousy. Aameen
http://www.faizaneraza.org
The longest Hand!
Hazrat A'ishah Radi Allahu anha narrates that Some of the wives of the Prophet Hazrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam asked him , "Who amongst us will be the first to follow you (die after you ?)" He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam said, "Whoever has the longest hand."..
Hazrat A'ishah Radi Allahu anha narrates that Some of the wives of the Prophet Hazrat Muhammad Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam asked him , "Who amongst us will be the first to follow you (die after you ?)" He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam said, "Whoever has the longest hand."..
May we all practice giving charity and help fellow Muslim brothers and sisters ameen.
http://www.faizaneaza.org
To be the most Beautiful woman in the world.
With your beauty, you are better than the sun; with your morals you are more sublime than musk; with your modesty you are nobler than the full moon; with your compassion you are more beneficial than rain.
So, preserve your beauty with faith, your tranquility with contentment, your chastity with Hijaab.
Remember that your adornment is not gold, silver or diamonds, rather it is two rak'ahs at Fajr, going thirsty when you fast for Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, concealed charity which no one knows except Him, hot tears that wash away sin, a lengthy prostration born of utter submission to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, shyness before Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala when the inclination to do evil overwhelms you.
Clothe yourself with the garments of taqwa (piety) for you are the most beautiful woman in the world in, even if your clothes are shabby.
Clothe yourself with the cloak of modesty, for you are the most beautiful woman in the world even if you are barefoot. Beware of the life of bewitching immoral disbelieving women, for they are the fuel of the fire of Hell.
{None shall enter it save the most wretched.}(Quran 92:15)"Wherever you go and find darkness in your life; what you have to do is to light the lamp within yourself"
http://www.faizaneraza.org/gallery
Forgiving One Another!
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islam is tolerant towards her friends and Sisters, and does not bear grudges against them. If she becomes angry with one of her Sisters, she restrains her anger and freely forgives the one who has committed an error, without seeing any shame in doing so. In fact, she sees this as a good deed which will bring her closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala:
''(those) who restrain anger and pardon (all) men - for Allah loves those who do good.'' (Quraan Shareef 3:134)
If a person suppresses his or her seething anger, and does not forgive, that anger will turn into resentment and malice, which are more dangerous than anger. When a person forgives and forgets, the flames of anger are extinguished, and his or her soul is cleansed of the effects of anger and hatred. This is the level of Ihsan which earns Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala love for those who attain it:
''For Allah loves those who do good.'' (Quraan Shareef 3:134)
The Muslim woman who truly adheres to the teachings of Islam is one of this group of Muhsineen. She does not allow anger to continue boiling in her heart, because suppressed resentment is a very heavy burden on the soul; rather, she hastens to forgive and forget, thus freeing herself from this burden, and filling her soul with tranquillity and peace of mind.
Something that may help the Muslim woman to reach this difficult level of Ihsan is the knowledge that forgiving one's Sister is not a source of humiliation or shame, rather it will raise her in status and honour in the sight of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, as the Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam described: "Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will not increase His servant when He forgives except in honour. No one humbles himself for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala but Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will raise his status." (Muslim Shareef)
If we compare this honour and status with the status of Ihsan reached by the woman who is tolerant and forgiving, we will realize what an honour she has attained, for in the sight of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala she is one of the Muhsinaat, and in the sight of people she is a respected, beloved example. The Muslim woman who has truly understood the teachings of Islam cannot have any trace of hatred or resentment in her heart towards anybody, because she understands precisely the value of forgiveness and purity of heart, and their importance if she seeks Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala forgiveness and pleasure, as the Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam explained: "There are three sins, whoever dies free of these sins will be forgiven for anything else, if Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala wills: associating anything with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala; practising magic or witchcraft; and bearing resentment towards his brother." (Bukhari Shareef)
http://www.faizaneraza.org
The Mother's Milk
The Prophet Muhammad (peabe be upon him) was born at a time when it was customary among the wealthy of the Quraysh tribe to have their babies nursed by Bedouins around Makkah. It was believed that a Bedouin wet-nurse gave a strong physical constitution to the child, as well as the easy manners of the desert Arabs. The free open-air life of the desert and a clean and healthy environment clean for the mother contributed towards the provision of a complete and nourishing food…milk. The Prophet of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) gained much from the milk of his wet-nurse, Halima.
An important period of bonding between mother and child, the process of breast-feeding, soothes the baby - new to the strange noises, smells and sensations of this world. It brings warmth, love, and security to the new child; but just as importantly, it brings complete nutrition, immunity and health protection. This is because breast milk, Allah's intended food for babies, is nature's perfect "formula". Man-made formulas will never replace what Allah has created. Breast milk allows the baby's immune and digestive systems to develop and be nourished before the baby begins taking on more complex foods. It also provides increased immunity. "Breast fed babies have a health advantage over those given formula because of the immunity factors in human milk. Some researchers have gone so far as to call the human mammary gland or breast, an immunologic organ. It's like Mother Nature guards her newborns with an infection-fighting elixir designed to safely carry them through the first few years of life".
So far, scientists have divided the not-completely-understood agents of human milk into three categories:
Germ fighters
Inflammation Soothers
Immune System Enhancers
Breast milk composition even changes throughout the day and the baby's growth in order to fit the needs of the child. For instance, a mother with a premature baby has different milk, more suited for her child's needs, than a mother who gives birth to a full-term baby.
Formula baby foods can never reproduce this quality that Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) has blessed women with. Cow's milk, often the base of man-made formulas, frequently causes lactose-intolerance. In fact, very few populations remain able to tolerate lactose; and the ones who are tolerant are populations that have had to rely on the milk of their herds for food under difficult environments. However, over 70% of African, Chinese, Japanese, Ashkenazi Jews and Mediterraneans have lost their lactose tolerance ability. In the U.S. up to 25% of Caucasians are lactose intolerant. There also seems to be a relationship between colic in breast-fed infants and the cows' milk drunk by their mothers. Furthermore, many children are allergic to the alternative soy-based formulas recently being sold; many minerals and vitamins are hard for babies to digest in synthetic form. For instance, the minerals zinc and iron are easier to absorb when taken in human milk.
Furthermore, the ratio of phosphorus and calcium in cow's milk makes it difficult to digest properly. The ratio of calcium to phosphorus in human milk is 2.35:1 but the ratio is 1.27 in cow's milk. Frank Oski of the Department of Pediatrics at Upstate Medical Center, State University of New York in Syracuse said, "Only foods with a calcium-to-phosphorus ratio of 2-1 or better should be used as primary source of calcium." Phosphorus can combine with calcium in the digestive tract and actually prevent the absorption of calcium. Therefore, humans absorb less calcium from the high-calcium cow's milk than from the lower-calcium human milk.
Perhaps this is why studies consistently show that nursed children are healthier in general, suffering less from allergies, eczema, diarrhea, and skin disorders due to the immunity factor in human milk. In places like the Chinese province of Hubei, babies are taller and weigh more the longer they are breast-fed. Breast milk also contains antibodies to protect babies against salmonella, E. Coli, candida and botulism; and help in the defense against polio and respiratory infections. Antimicrobes in human milk ease inflammation and fight bacteria, whereas cow's milk in humans nurtures harmful bacteria. A study by a Finnish scientist used 237 healthy children to discover that the longer an infant was nursed the fewer ear infections they had. This fact was taken even further if the child received no supplementation other than mothers' milk. When a baby is taken off human milk and given formula, an allergy may develop to the cow's milk in the formula. Sometimes, cow's milk irritates the Eustachian tube that connects the ear to the throat. Researchers have also noticed that people who were breast-fed as infants are less likely to get diabetes, Crohn's disease (a digestive disorder) and some types of cancer. Obesity is another health problem that is less prevalent in breast-fed babies. Recent research by Matthew Gillman looked at 15,000 children and found that there is a lower risk of being overweight by age 14 in breast fed children. Gillman's logical explanation was that babies who breast-fed regularly regulated their own food intake and stopped eating when were full; while a bottle-fed baby may continue to eat more, feeding until the bottle is empty. One can liken human milk to organic/fresh foods that provide more bulk in the stomach; whereas formula is more like processed foods that don't satisfy the hunger because they provide less bulk. Gillman also found that the mother's weight played a role. Thinner mothers were more likely than heavy mothers to breast-feed, and for longer periods. British researchers found that, in addition to better health, mother's milk increases IQ's. They tracked 300 children until they were seven or eight years old. Children who were nursed had IQ's 8.3 points higher than formula fed babies. We try to provide the best we can and make the most of what Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) blessed us with. Therefore we should continue that effort, especially when it is in the best interests of our children.
http://www.videos.faizaneraza.org
Blessings of the tragedy at Faizan-e-Madina
(1~3) Aunty and niece in the court of the Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam
(1) During the tragedy at the world centre of Dawat-e-Islami, Faizan-e-Madina (Baab-ul-Madina) at the weekly sunnah inspired Ijtima on Sunday 10th Rabi-un-Noor 1427 (9/4/06), an aunty (60 years old approx.) and her niece (25 years old approx.) from Green town (Baab-ul-Madina Karachi) were also martyred. Since Satan takes advantage from incidents such as this and creates all type of doubts, it was heard that the living relatives of these two, due to extreme grief and sorrow, also became victims of suspicion about the Madani environment. There is no doubt that whatever Allah does is always correct. In every action of His, there is countless divine wisdom. May we be sacrificed at His divine wisdom! He revealed such glorious things about these two martyrs after their death that the evil whisperings of Satan were completely destroyed. The Islamic sisters from Dawat-e-Islami who were responsible for the ghusl of these two martyrs report that during the ghusl, both the aunt and the niece clearly smiled three times. When the relatives of these martyrs saw this miracle, they immediately said Subhan-Allah Azawajal
.
(2) In the same way, on the eve of the 11th of Rabi-un-Noor 1427h, an Islamic sister also saw these two martyrs in the blessed company of the Holy Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam and they were saying `Marhaba Ya Mustafa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam ` in praise of the birth of the Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam.
(3) A person from their family also saw them in a dream and saw that they were very happy and in a good position.Seeing these people smile during their ghusl, and also hearing some of the good news of these two, Alhamdu-Lillah Azawajal the doubts and complaints of this family were also removed. They also started to praise the Madani environment. Their family are now also under the impression that both these martyrs are very happy and they certainly have achieved a lot through the Madani environment. The mother of the girl said that In`shaa-Allah azawajal she will replace her daughter and sister in the Madani Ijtima and will try to become a source of further happiness to these two martyrs. May Allah shower his mercy upon them and forgive us for their sake.
http://www.faizaneraza.org
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Purdah (VEIL)
I felt I had to put this thread up as the recent events happening in America not only shocked me but angered me and I feel that this and other women are forgetting their place in Islam and abusing it.So much for equal rights yes, but Islam has put a purdah there for a reason, and we as women do not cross that line.Sex is a reality of human life. It can neither be ignored nor escaped from. Islam divides its people in the two categories of men and women, which is only natural and realistic. Societies that have violated this division have passed through disaster. At some places, there has been too much of stringency maintained leading to the segregation of the half of its people, while at others obliterating the distinction between the two sexes has created an unnatural semblance of unity.This imbalance leads to pathetic ends.As opposed to this, Islam divides its people into two on the basis of their sexes.The two constitute two different circles. As such, men operate in an area that is different from that of the women.Men and women are not thus imprisoned in their circles; they are in fact given freedom to act in their own areas of operation with their individual excellence rather than enter other areas and cause tension there.The line of distinction between the two sexes is known as Purdah (veil) Man has been selected to take care of the affairs of the world outside. This has been done in view of the nature and capabilities that a man has. Similarly, in view of their nature and potential, women have been selected to operate in the inner world. The responsibilities of each group are only appropriate to those who belong to the group.The western society, as you can see of its actions have proved that its ethos has failed in, morality, humanity, and culture. The women have no peace; they go from place to place without success. The western couples separate at a much faster rate than anywhere else.Purdah does not imply that a woman is to be imprisoned behind the walls; it only intends to draw a line between the two societies.Islam does not keep women behind closed doors; it rather gives her a chance to operate freely in her own area. From there she can very well earn her livelihood, and if her conditions allow, she can also join a job and serve socially and politically.She can teach in the educational institutions, go to social clubs but all these may happen separately and not in a mixed manner. There is no denying the fact that men and women are like the two wheels of life’s vehicle. It is only through mutual co-operation that this vehicle can move. Islam also underlines these roles of men and women but it does not, however, support what is said ; Subsequently that men and women should work together. Two wheels can’t move together on a single track. If an effort is made to do so, the vehicle would suffer damage just as society would.It is important to understand the importance of PURDAH at this point.Men and women, according to Islam, have been divided as MAHRAM and NA-MAHRAM.MAHRAM; The prohibited degrees of relationship, i.e. those near blood relatives of the opposite sex with whom marriage is prohibited in Islam.NA-MAHRAM; The person with whom marriage is not prohibited.Concealable Parts of BodyAccording to Islam there are concealable parts of men and women.Concealable parts of women’s body are from the wrists to the ankles. In other words, their entire body, except face, is concealable. The concealable parts of men include the parts from navel down to knee. Men and women are commanded to conceal these parts. They can’t expose them even before persons who belong to the same sex. There are injunctions regarding Purdah that it will be observed with the unknown ones. In sum, it may be said that purdah is an important institution of Islam, without which the society would have suffered irreparable loss.
2-Sarwar Kahoon Kay Malik o Maula Kahoon Tujhay
Dawateislami Islamic Sisters Weekly Ijtima at 2.30 PM every Sunday
Weeky ijtima for Sisters 01-02-09 Videos
1- Tilawat-e-Quran -Surah Rehman -
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Nurturing our sense of Gheerah
Sometimes Muslim women don't understand if their men folk want them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar because it brings out the beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face – by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for your hereafter. He knows what men can be like more than you do and so never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types of matters. And his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour! Why should any man be able to see your beauty and think indecent thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our menfolk's sense of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying attention to their valid opinions. We expect certain behaviour from them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us to do something that it not Haraam, we must do it.
And Brothers! How can you allow your wife or sister to walk around attracting the attentions and evil-thoughts of other men? How can you not mind if she smiles as she talks to other men. Nobody has the right to enjoy her and her company but you and her Maharim men. You are not being overbearing if you first encourage and then enforce the hijaab on your womenfolk because YOU will be asked about it on the Day of Judgement and it is also a major sin upon YOU! It is upon the men to enforce these things in their homes and you cannot use the excuse that your wife didn't want to. Women need a firm, balanced, guiding hand from their men, so with wisdom you must enforce hijaab in your home. You are a shepard and are responsible for your flock!
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala reminds us all in the Qur'an, the meaning of which is: "Oh you who believe, Protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones." (At-Tahreem, Aayah 6)
There is a big difference between how Islam values and protects women and how cheaply women are treated outside of Islam! As Muslims we have to be careful that our Hayaa' (sense of modesty and shame) and Gheerah don't wear out in a society in which people have lost it.
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A brief translation of Dua-e-Safar
Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
ASALATU WASALAMU ALAYKA YA RASULLALLAH Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam
A brief translation.For me there are 5 who will intercede for me to get rid of any future turmoils/problems.
And they are Hazrat Muhammad Mustufa Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam, Hazrat Ali Murtaza Radi Allahu anhu, Hazrat Hussain Radi Allahu anhu, Hazrat Hassan Radi Allahu anhu and Hazrat Bibi Fatima Radi Allahu anha.
Read this dua excessively from the 1st of Safar till the last date of Safar. Read and blow on children as well as other family members. Hold a khatam at home and read this dua . Hang this dua on factory or shop door for peace and prosperity InshAllah.
Please remember me in your duas and forgive if any mistakes.
Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
http://www.faizaneraza.orgMonday, February 2, 2009
A story of Gheerah
To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asmaa' Radi Allahu anha the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq Radi Allahu anhu and sister of Aisha Radi Allahu anha relates about herself. Abu Bakr Radi Allahu anhu was a wealthy merchant and he married his daughter Asmaa' Radi Allahu anha to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-'Awwam Radi Allahu anhu who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one of the companions who were promised Paradise. Asmaa' Radi Allahu anharelates:
"When az-Zubayr Radi Allahu anhu married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave…", so Asmaa' Radi Allahu anha had to work very hard kneading dough, going far off to get water. "And I used to carry on my head," she Radi Allahu anha continues, "the date stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah's Messenger(Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madeenah. One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah's Messenger (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam), along with a group of his Companions. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam called me and told the camel to sit down so that he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I remembered az-Zubair Radi Allahu anhu and his Gheerah and he Radi Allahu anhu was a man having the most Gheerah . The Messenger of Allah ( Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) understood my shyness and left. I came to az-Zubair Radi Allahu anhu and said: "The Messenger of Allah (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam told the camel to kneel so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah." So Asmaa' Radi Allahu anha declined the offer made by the Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam. Upon this az-Zubair Radi Allahu anhu said: "By Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him(Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam)." (Bukhari)
Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa' Radi Allahu anha! See how she Radi Allahu anha felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband's feelings? She knew that her husband had a lot of Gheerah so she didn't want to upset him by accepting the Prophet's Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam help even though the Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was the purest of men and even though it meant bringing hardship on herself! And look at az-Zubair Radi Allahu anhu, even though he had a lot of Gheerah, he didn't want to inconvenience his wife. What a beautiful relationship they had! (SubhanAllah..)
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Gheerah - protecting our honour
Gheerah - protecting our honourWe live in societies in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other men even if they are married! They have lost their sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism too has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their natural emotions. Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they don't mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so possessive!
In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn't like other men to look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has given men and women. The Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam had the most Gheerah for his wives and all of the companions were known for their Gheerah. All Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says in the Qur'an, the meaning of which is:
"The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…" (Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34)
Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don't enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin and a detailed description of this evil characteristic can be found in adh-Dhahabee's book of Major Sins.
http://videos.faizaneraza.orgSunday, February 1, 2009
Foster Mother
Foster Mother Pharaoh's (Firaun) wife prays to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala that she needs a house in the heaven and she wants Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to save her from Pharaoh (Firaun) and his doings and from those who do wrong. (Qur'an 66:11) One can appreciate her good attitude when she finds the baby [Musa alayhis 'salam] inside the chest. She says that the baby is a pleasure to her eyes and her mother's instinct starts taking over. She says to Pharaoh (Firaun) not to kill the baby and says the baby might be of benefit to them. Here is the mother's instinct that is saying that they will adopt him as a son. (Qur'an 28:9)
Kindness to Mother
Qur'an ordains to be kind to one's parents and especially to the mother (Qur'an 31:14, 46:15). All the family and relationships mentioned in the Qur'an refers to the womb (rahim). Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala instructs not to break the ties of the womb when put in authority (Qur'an 47:22).
http://www.faizaneraza.orgMother of Hazrat Isa alayhis 'salam
Hazrat Maryam Radi Allahu anha's trial was also very strange. Hazrat Maryam Radi Allahu anha a chaste and a respectful person of the society finds all of a sudden that she will have a baby. She seeks refuge in Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to protect her. She was wondering how she can have a child affirming her chastity. Qur'an explains the miraculous conception. In the pain of labour, Hazrat Maryam Radi Allahu anha wishes that she would rather die than go through this. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala comforts and guides her. (Qur'an 19:16-25) She delivers the baby and goes back to her people. Her people immediately remind her about her pious and respectful family. And Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala made the newborn defend her mother. Baby Isa (a.s.w.s.) said he is NOT the son of Allah but the servant of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. And Hazrat Isa Radi Allahu anha said he will be kind to his mother. (Quran 19:26-35) We can see the gratitude he had towards his mother who went through all these trials.
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Saturday, January 31, 2009
The Most Beautiful Girl
No, she's not Diana Hayden nor is she Sushmita Sen,
Not even Aishwarya Rai, Who is this girl then?
No, she does not flash her legs nor walk down the aisle semi-nude
For her such things are unthinkable, sacrilegious and downright rude
Miss World, Miss Universe, Miss "Anything", She does not aspire to be
She shuns all kinds of publicity in privacy she would rather be
Never in a swimming costume will she for a camera pose
Yes, she's the 'girl in hijaab' more beautiful than a rose!
Those who're 'stripped' of modesty will 'strip' for any cause
Whether on a lonely beach or in front of a full house
In their naked greed they dance In pursuit of earth's glory
Is there a thing more vulgar than a woman devoid of modesty?
In the name of freedom all moral values are now defined
Vulgarity, nudism, nakedness are steps to fame that wind
Those who are of rotten minds call it freedom of "female" species
Yet, they exploit them a-plenty, whenever and wherever they please.
But for their terrible transgressions maybe they are not fully to
blame, The Muslims forgot their duty and let them live in shame
Incumbent upon the Muslims it was to promote good and stop all vice
If they had done their duty such situations wouldn't arise
Back to our girl in hijaab much loved in Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala's sight
She is darling of all the angels Heaven beckons to her, by right
She's a simple Muslim Girl Yet more beautiful than a full moon
The brightness of her face is all "Noor" can there be a greater boon?
Modesty is her birth right without it, she'd feel lost
"Shamelessness" is a Devil's tool that she avoids at any cost
No, she does not commit sinful acts nor to base desires give vent
In studies, salah, zikr and tilawat much of her time is spent
In obedience of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala's commands she does all the things wise
And the riches that she scorns befits a "Princess of Paradise"
Our beloved Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam said modesty is a part of faith
For those who follow not we solemnly lay a wreath
No, she's not Diana Hayden nor she is Sushmita Sen
Nothing on earth would entice her Rupees, Dollars or Yen!
poetry www.faizaneraza.org
Motherhood in Islam
The cases of the Mothers in the Qur'an are always accompanied by a sense of testing, challenge, anguish and for each one of these cases and there must be a reason for that.
Mother of Musa alayhis 'salam
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala told the Mother of Hazrat Musa alayhis 'salam ( through inspiration to do this unbelievable, challenging, trying and testing act that is to place her newborn son in the chest and throw it into the river to be picked up by one who is an enemy of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and an enemy of Hazrat Musa alayhis 'salam. How much faith and comfort a mother would have to respond to this call from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to throw her son and some people say that after all she did not have a choice because Pharaoh is killing the sons.
Nonetheless it is quite difficult to convince a mother to throw her son to the unknown like that. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala did not say that her son will be taken to safety and instead He said the baby will be picked up by one who is an enemy of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and an enemy of Musa alayhis 'salam. It must have been a very strong and faithful mother.
Mother of Hazrat Yahya alayhis 'salam
Hazrat Yahya alayhis 'salam's father Hazrat Zakariya alayhis 'salam was an old man and there was a need for an heir to carry the legacy of the message. Hazrat Zakariya alayhis 'salam's wife was also old. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala wanted him to have a very special child (Qur'an 19:7-11). We know that Hazrat Yahya alayhis 'salam played an important role in the chain of messengers because he was the one who conveyed the message and also who took care of Hazrat Isa alayhis 'salam.
The trial is not to Hazrat Zakariya alayhis 'salam but to his wife, the old woman who has to go through the tribulations to having that child. Nonetheless the father was sceptical of having a child in the old age but on the contrary the mother was joyful and cheerful about that situation and she came laughing aloud. (Qur'an 51:29)
She just had a positive attitude about the whole thing and cheerfulness that she could not hide even though it was a strange situation to be at.
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8. The hijab is Gheerah
The hijab fits the natural feeling of Gheerah, which is intrinsic in the straight man who does not like people to look at his wife or daughters. Gheerah is a driving emotion that drives the straight man to safeguard women who are related to him from strangers. The straight MUSLIM man has Gheerah for ALL MUSLIM women In response to lust and desire, men look (with desire) at other women while they do not mind that other men do the same to their wives or daughters. The mixing of sexes and absence of hijab destroys the Gheera in men. Islam considers Gheerah an integral part of faith. The dignity of the wife or daughter or any other Muslim woman must be highly respected and defended.
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7. The hijab is Haya' (Bashfulness)
There are two authentic hadith which state: "Each religion has a morality and the morality of Islam is haya'" AND "Bashfulness is from belief, and belief is in Al-Jannah (paradise)". The hijab fits the natural bashfulness which is a part of the nature of women.
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6. The hijab is Eemaan (Belief or Faith)
Allah (subhana wa'atala) did not address His words about the hijab except to the believing women, Al-Mo'minat. In many cases in the Qur'an Allah refers to the "the believing women". Aisha (Radhi Allahu Anhu), the wife of the prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam), addressed some women from the tribe of Banu Tameem who came to visit her and had light clothes on them, they were improperly dressed:
"If indeed you are believing women, then truly this is not the dress of the believing women, and if you are not believing women, then enjoy it."
5. The hijab is Taqwah (Righteousness)
Allah (subhana wa'atala) says in the Qur'an:
O children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc) and as an adornment. But the raiment of righteousness, that is better.'(S7:26).
The widespread forms of dresses in the world today are mostly for show off and hardly taken as a cover and shield of the woman's body. To the believing women, however the purpose is to safeguard their bodies and cover their private parts as a manifestation of the order of Allah. It is an act of Taqwah (righteousness)
The hijab is a Shield
4. The hijab is a Shield
The prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) said:
"Allah, Most High, is Heaven, is Ha'yeii (Bashful), Sit'teer (Shielder). He loves Haya' (Bashfulness) and Sitr (Shielding; Covering)."
The Prophet (Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam) also said:
"Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband's house (to show off for unlawful purposes), has broken Allah's shield upon her. "
The hadith demonstrates that depending upon the kind of action committed there will be either reward (if good) or punishment (if bad).
3. The hijab is Tahara (Purity)
Allah (Azzawajal ) had shown us the hikma (wisdom) behind the legislation of the hijab:
`And when you ask them (the Prophet's wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and their hearts.' (S33:53).
The hijab makes for greater purity for the hearts of believing men and women because it screens against the desire of the heart. Without the hijab, the heart may or may not desire. That is why the heart is more pure when the sight is blocked (by hijab) and thus the prevention of fitna (evil actions is very much manifested. The hijab cuts off the ill thoughts and the greed of the sick hearts:
`Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil desire for adultery, etc) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.' (S33:32)
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2.The Hijab is IFFAH (Modesty).
Allah (subhana wa'atala) made the adherence to the hijab a manifestation for chastity and modesty. Allah says:
'O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when outdoors). That is most convenient that they should be known and not molested.' (S33:59).
In the above Ayaah there is an evidence that the recognition of the apparent beauty of the woman is harmful to her. When the cause of attraction ends, the restriction is removed. This is illustrated in the case of elderly women who may have lost every aspect of attraction. Allah (swt) made it permissible for them to lay aside their outer garments and expose their faces and hands reminding, however, that is still better for them to keep their modesty.
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The Virtues of Hijab ::1. An act of obedience.
1. An act of obedience.
he hijab is an act of obedience to Allah and to his prophet (pbuh), Allah says in the Qur'an:
`It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His messenger have decreed a matter that they should have an option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.' (S33:36).
Allah also said:
'And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc) and not to show off their adornment except what must (ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw their veils over their Juyubihinna.'(S24:31).
Juyubihinna: The respected scholars from As-Salaf As-Saleh (righteous predecessors) differed whether the veil cover of the body must include the hands and face or not. Today, respected scholars say that the hands and face must be covered. Other respected scholars say it is preferable for women to cover their whole bodies.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Medicine for anger!
"The strong man is not the one who can wrestle (fight); the strong man is the one who controls himself at the time of anger."
[Sahih al-Bukhari]
When Prophet Muhammad Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam became angry at someone else's wrong actions or disbeliefs, he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam never expressed it with his hand or tongue. His companions knew that he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was angry by looking at his blessed face, which would be red and with some sweat on his forehead, and he Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam would keep quiet for a moment, trying to control himself.
Once a couple went to Prophet Muhammad Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam and said, We have been fighting each other for many years. Each time she says something to hurt my feelings, I become angry, and then I fight back and this fight comes to such a degree that I am afraid that this verbal fight may, become physical, or we may end up divorced. So please advise how we can control our anger.
He told the husband that when your wife provokes you and makes you angry, take a sip of your water in your mouth and do not swallow it or spit it out, but keep it there until she has calmed down.
Well, he practiced that and a few months later, he reported back that it did work.
Since we believe that anger is an expression of satanic control, we must not let this control take over. The Prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam has advised us to say, "During anger, I seek refuge from Satan in protection of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala."
He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam also advised us that when angry, that one should sit down or lie down as it is not easy to hit someone else in those positions. Obviously, the best remedy is to think about Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and ask yourself a question, "are you in control of yourself, or would you allow Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to take control of you?" Think of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala's anger and punishment. Is Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala's wrath less than your wrath? And what happens when He expresses His wrath? We humans who seek forgiveness from Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala must forgive others first.
When one forgive someone else, it establishes peace and tranquility in one's heart, but at the same time, the matter of injustice or wrong actions which made one angry, become a dispute between him and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and if one do not take revenge and forgive, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala might act on ones behalf.
The first attribute of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala that Muslims are reminded (of) is Ar Rahman-Ar Rahim that is, The Most Kind and Most Merciful. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has said, "My mercy overtakes my wrath", and in one of the hadith Qudsi , 'O son of Adam, when you get angry, remember Me."
One can also turn and pray to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala to take control of the situation and the person or the people who have caused His anger. We must also think that tone life so dear to us, is a temporary life, and we must not forget our death and destroy the life of eternity at the cost of this life. Washing one's face with cold water or taking a cold shower is also helpful.
May we all act upon the sunnah of our Sarkare do alam Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam and keep our anger at bay inshAllah azzawajal
Frightening animals
Frightening animals
It was the last Friday in Sha`baan 1414ah. During an Ijtima at night to propagate the Sunnah at Baab-ul-Madina (Korangi), a young man met me. He was extremely frightened and narrated the following incident, `A young daughter of a very good friend of mine suddenly died. When we had completed the burial and were returning, the father of the deceased realised that he had accidentally left a bag which contained important papers with his young daughter in her grave. As a matter of great need, we had to reopen the grave. When we opened the grave, what we saw made us scream with extreme fear because the same young girl who we had just covered in a new piece of cloth was now sitting up straight with her shroud torn. Her legs were tied with the hair on her head and small frightening animals which we did not recognise were stuck to her. We forgot what we had come for and without even retrieving the bag, we covered the grave and ran from their. When I returned home, I inquired about the sins of this young girl. Her relatives revealed that she possessed no such bad habits which had made her look bad; however, like the young girls of today, she also thought of herself as a fashionable person and never used to cover herself. Recently, there was a wedding in her family and like other females, she also cut her hair and joined other women without any covering at all.`
Woman
Mother, beneath whose feet lies paradise. Daughter, who is the mercy of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. Sister, who is the honour of the family. Wife, who is the jewel of the home. All these are facades of the great personality known as woman.
The woman who had no worth before Islam. She was buried alive soon after birth, as her arrival signified disgrace and humiliation. Islam gave her respect and greatness. Consequently, as a mother she was presented with a status much higher than that of a father, and has given birth to some of the greatest prophets and saints.
The beloved prophet Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallamsaid, "Oh Muslims, the example of the following four women should suffice for every generation of your women: Hadhrat Maryam (mother of Hadhrat Isa Alai hisallam), Hadhrat Khadja-tal-Kubra Radi Allahu anha, Hadhrat Fatima- al-Zahra Radi Allahu anha, and Hadhrat Asiya Radi Allahu anha (wife of the Pharaoh)." (Tirmidhi)
Let us contemplate the importance of this example. Hadhrat Khadija Radi Allahu anha was one of the richest amongst the Arabs. Once she married, she sacrificed all her wealth for Islam and for the love of her Husband. She lived a happy life with patience and gratitude.
Then there is Hadhrat Fatima Radi Allahu anha, who whilst she lived in her father's home, she valued her father's love and affection above anything else in the world. After her marriage, her husband's home became everything. She raised her children through sheer struggle and graft, but her tongue never uttered a word of complaint.
The status quo in society is achieved only as a result of woman's faithfulness, modesty and her sacrifices. She maintains a systematic order in the home, and her knowledge and skills can illuminate it. Whilst she grows up in her parental home, she dutifully abides by her parents wishes. Following marriage she transfers this loyalty to her husband. Once she becomes a mother, she becomes the purveyor of abundant love for her offspring.
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has entrusted the guardianship of woman to man, initially in the guise of a father, then in the shape of a brother and then as a husband. Prophet Muhammad Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam stated, "A woman is like a flower. Her purpose is not just to server you. Her time in your home is but one stage of her life. Take care of all her needs. Do not burden her with more than she can manage and do not subject her to hardship or injustice."
Scholars reommend that from a young age girls should be nurtured to be modest and faithful, and educated and trained in the skills of life. Society is in need of great personalities as mothers of the future. It is a shame to see that materialism and fashion worship has blinded mankind, as a result of which we are leading our own children astray.
Punishments for Women!
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
Kya Deen e Mustafa Ko Jagaaya Hussain Nay
Karbal Mein Sara Kumba Lutaaya Hussain Nay
Aisa Namaaz e Ishq Ka Sajdah Adaa Kiyaa
Sar Koh Jhukaa Kay Arsh Hilaaya Hussain Nay!!!!!
I Pray that you are all well and in the best state of Imaan, Ameen!
Hazrat Ali Radi Allahu anhu said that once he and Bibi Fatima Radi Allahu anha went to visit Rasoolallah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam. Rasoolallah Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam was weeping. They inquired the reason that had made them Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallamweep. He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam replied: "On the night of the Ascension (Miraaj Shareef), I saw the punishments being given to some women, today I was remembering those scenes. This is why I am worried". They Radi Allahu anhu asked, "Please tell us what did you see?" He Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam replied: "I saw a woman hanging by her hair and her brain was boiling. (This was the punishment of that woman who did not hide her hair by covering her head from men). I saw one woman hanging by her tongue with her hands tied against her back. (She used to hurt her husband's feelings by her tongue i.e. speaking). I saw one woman with both her hands and feet tied towards her forehead; and snakes and scorpions were attacking her. (She used to go out of her house without the permission of her husband and she did not clean up herself properly by taking a shower after menses and child birth bleeding). (Those women who use nail polish should learn a lesson from this. Keep in mind! Nail polish sticks to the surface of the nail hence, ablution and bath is not made.) One woman was eating her own flesh and there was fire burning under her. (She used to dress up and apply make-up in order to attract attention of males and she used to speak bad about people behind their backs). One woman was seen having her body being cut by a scissor made out of fire. (This was the punishment for showing her body and private parts to other men). One woman had a face of pig and the body of a donkey, and she was being punished in different styles. (She used to tell lies and make false accusations). There was a woman who looked like a dog, snakes and scorpions were entering into her front-side and coming out from her backside. And angels were hitting her with a hammer made up of fire. (She used to have an attitude problem towards her husband).
Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam
Astaghfirullah!
May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala protect us all, Ameen!
Gunnaon ki addath chura mere Maulah
Mujhay naik insaan banna mere Maulah, Ameen!
Fi Aminillah
Wa'alaykum 'Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu
Maan ki wasiat
Arab ki aik mashoor alim adeeba nai apni beti ki rukhsati par us ko 10 wasiatain (advices) keen . kisi bhi zamanay main agar har biwi in 10 wasiaton par amal karay to ghar jannat ka namoona ban jaye
1: mairi piari beti! mairi ankhoon ki dhandak, shohar kai ghar ja kar QANAAt wali zindagi guzarnay ka ahtamam karna , jo daal roti millay is par razi rahna ,jo
rookhi sookhi shohar ki khushi kay saath mill jaye woh us murgh pulao sai bahtar hai jo tumharay israar karnay par us nai narazi sai dia ho
2: is baat ka khial rakhna kah apnay shohar ki baat ko hamesha tawajjah sai sunna , isay ahmiat daina aur har haal main in batoon pai amal karnay ki koshis kar
karna is tarah tum un kay dill main jagah bana lo gi kionkah admi nahin admi ka kaam piara hota hai
3:apni zeenato jamal ka aisa khial rakhna kah jab woh tujhhe nigah bhar kar daikhay to apnay intikhab (selection) par khush ho aur saadgi kay saath jitni bhi
hasil ho khushbo ka ahtamaam zaroor karna ... yaad rakhna tairay jism o libaas ki koi boo ( smell) ya banawat isay nafrat o kirahat na dilaye
4:apnay shohar ki nigah main purkashis maloom honay kai liye apni ankhon ko surma aur kajol sai araasta karna kionkah purkashis ankhain , pooray wajood
ko daikhnay walay ki nigahoon main jacha daiti hain
5:shohar ka khana waqt sai pahlay tiar rakhna kionkah dair tak bardasht ki janay wali bhook bharaktay hoye shoolay ki manind ho jati hai ... in kay aram karnay
aur neend poori karnay kay okaat (time) main sakoon ka mahool banana kionkah neend adhoori rah jaye to tabiat main ghussa aur chirchira pan paida ho jata
hai
6:in kai ghar in kay maal ki nagrani karna yaani in ki ijazat kai baghair koi ghar main na aye aur in ka maal laghwiat (fizool) numaish o fashion main barbaad
na karna kionkah maal ki bahtar hifazat husne intizaam sai hoti hai aur ahlo aiaal (family) ki bahtar hifazat husne tadbeer sai hoti hai
7 :hamesha in ki raazdaar rahna aur in ki nafarmaani hargiz na karna kionkah in jaisay baroob shakhs ki nafarmaani jalti par tail ka kaam karay gi aur agar tum us
ka raaz doosron sai na chupa saki to us ka aitmaad (trust) tum par sai hatt jaye ga aur tum bhi phir us kai do rukhaypan (double face) sai mahfooz na rah
sako gi
8: jab woh kisi baat par ghamgeen (unhappy) ho to apni kisi khushi ka izhaar in kay saamnay na karna yaani in kay gham main barabar ki shreek rahna ..
shohar ki kisi khushi kai waqt apnay chuppay hoye gham kai asraat chahray (face) pai na laana aur na shohar sai in kay kisi rawaye (behavior) ki shikayat
karna .. in ki khushi main khush rahna
9: agar tum in ki nigahon main kabile takreem (respected) banna chahti ho to is ki izzat aur ahtaram ka khoob khial rakhna aur is ki marzi kay mutabik chalna
.. phir to tum is ko bhi hamesha apni zindagi kay har marhalay main apna bahtareen rafeeq (friend) pao gi
10: mairi piari beti! mairi is naseehat ko pallo sai bandh lo (always keep in your mind through out your life) aur is par girah laga lo kah jab tum in ki khushi
aur marzi ki khatir kai baar apna dill nahin maroo gi aur in ki baat oopar rakhnay kay liye khawah tumhain pasand ho ya na pasand (either you like it or not)
zindagi kai kaye marhalon ( periods) main apnay dill main uthnay wali khwahishon (wishes) ko dafan nahin karo gi , us waqt tak tumhari zindagi main bhi
khushi kai phool nahin khillain gay , aay mairi piari aur laadli beti main in nasihaton kai saath tumhain ALLAH kay hawalay karti hoon
www.faizaneraza.org
Weddings: A Time to Thank Allah azawajal
Weddings: A Time to Thank Allah Azawajal
by Muhammad Ash-Shareef
�And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.� - Surah Ar-Rum, 21
In this time of happiness, when gifts are received, hugs are generously donated, and laughter sprinkles the tables, we must remember who gave this all to us.
In this verse, Yamtann Allahu Alayna � Allah reminds of us of His favour upon us. Every husband in this room, it is Allah that created your bride. Every bride in this room, Allah created your husband. Allah created the pairs and then blessed the pair with love and mercy.
Then Allah says: �Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought�. Let�s take the time now to give a little thought to Allah�s favour upon us.
Sulayman � alayhis salam � sat his son down one day and taught him about Allah and life. Allah mentions what he said
�And We enjoined upon man (care) for his parents. His mother carried him, (increasing her) in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years: Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to me is the (final) destination.�
Thank Allah:
Every thing that you enjoy, everything that you love is from Allah:
�And whatever you have of blessing (indeed) it is from Allah!�
Thank Allah, remember Him and He will remember you. Allahu akbar!
�Remember me and I shall remember you, and be thankful to Me and do not be ungrateful.�
Allah will give us more when we are thankful:
�And (remember) when your lord proclaimed, �if you are grateful, I will surely increase you; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.�
I�ve heard of Muslims that regularly donate half a million dollars to the Democratic Party to have their picture taken with Clinton and his wife! They place these pictures up in the middle of their homes in all pride and honour.
Yet to every parent, let me draw your attention the most noble picture to put up in your home. Allah ta�ala put His majesty and every parent in this world in a portrait: �Be grateful to Me and to your Parents!�
Scholars have said that being grateful to Allah is to be grateful for the Iman that He has blessed us with. And to be thankful to our parents is to be grateful for the hard work they went through to raise us.
Ibn Abbas raa said, �There are three things that will not be accepted if it�s mate is not fulfilled. (And he mentioned), �Thank Me (Allah) and your Parents...� � Luqmaan 31/14.
Ibn Abbaas continued, �Thus whoever thanks Allah and is not thankful to his parents, Allah will not accept it from him.�
The scholars understood this and set the example for us. Haywah bin Shurayh ra.gif, one of the Imam�s of our Ummah, used to give classes in front of his home. During the class, his Mother would call him to feed the chickens. He would stand up, leave the Halaqah, and go feed the chickens.
Sufyan ibn Uyaynah � one of the Ummah�s greatest scholars � said, �Whoever prays the 5 salah has been grateful to Allah. And whoever prays for his parents after the Salah has been grateful to them.�
My mother in Law, Ali�s mother once told me about when Ali was young. He would come home from school, run up to her and give her the strongest hug. Then he would top it off with, �Mummy I love you.� She would mention the story and then let a tear drop.
As we get older, words like �I love you� become harder for us to say. Yet as much as it becomes harder for us to say, as much as it becomes more precious to the parents.
I ask Allah ta�ala that we not forget this innocence, when we were without sin, when we used to bring a smile to our parents.
Let�s keep making them smile. And In doing so, we would be thanking Allah.
General questions-For Islmaic Sisters
Ways of increasing happiness in your marriage and making it a successful one, Insha Allah Talaa.
May Allah Talaa bless you all, Ameen!! The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.
Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.
Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam
Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.
Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.
Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse
Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)
Be Your Mate's Best Friend
Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.
Spend Quality Time Together
It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.
Express Feelings Often
This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.
Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.
Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past
It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.
Surprise Each Other at Times
This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.
Have a Sense of Humour
This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.
Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements: ;-)
Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution, dear brother/ sister, Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking. (hehe)
Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm, Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate!!
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.
If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.
Tips for a Happy and Successful Marriage!!
Ways of increasing happiness in your marriage and making it a successful one, Insha Allah Talaa.
May Allah Talaa bless you all, Ameen!! The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship.
Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.
Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam
Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.
Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.
Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse
Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)
Be Your Mate's Best Friend
Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.
Spend Quality Time Together
It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.
Express Feelings Often
This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.
Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.
Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past
It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.
Surprise Each Other at Times
This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.
Have a Sense of Humour
This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.
Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements: ;-)
Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution, dear brother/ sister, Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking. (hehe)
Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm, Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate!!
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.
If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.
